Bit of a Crap Christmas

It never quite lives up to the hype, Christmas.  We have just come back from our Christmas 'break' but unfortunately, it wasn't much of a break. Jo and Sam both got a vicious dose of the flu that has been going around and that I had, albeit much more mildly, a few weeks ago.  

It really buggered things up to be honest.   Jo couldn't relax and Sammy had a streaming nose all day, every day and needed loads more attention than usual.  It all meant that despite everyone's best efforts, there wasn't a great deal of festive cheer to go round.  Sam got loads of cool presents, even though they took third place behind playing with pots and pans or helping to make cups of tea??? Generally though, all the things that should have been fun were a bit of a chore.  We did take Sam to a cute Cristingle carol service in Iffley but other than that there was a lot of coughing and spluttering and feeling rubbish.   Typically Hazel and mum pulled out all the stops which was brilliant despite us not really feeling up to doing much. It has left us all really flat at a time of year when you generally feel a bit flat anyway.  We are back to work tomorrow for a couple of days before spending new year with Jamie and Tiff.  I really hope we are all feeling better by then. I can't quite believe how much Sam has changed in a year.  Check out the picture at the top of the page from Christmas day last year....

One hugely positive thing and something that we are so lucky to have to look forward to, is that we have booked a 10 day break in Barbados in a couple of weeks time.  It should really give us a chance to properly recharge.  We all need it.  There is loads to consider about what we want to do next year.  I haven't managed to clear my head enough to think about it yet.  Bring it on.

Broadening horizons

I haven't written for ages.  Usual reasons really.  Work has been mad and I can't catch Sam still for more than two seconds to get a photo anyway.  These are the first two in a few weeks that haven't been a complete blur.  He's been brilliant.  He's properly picking up on everything we do and say now.  He really loves playing games.  He throws and kicks a ball and if you ask for a kiss on the cheek he'll give you one.  He can point to his nose and eyes and ears and hair on command too which is really cute.  Bedtime is more 'energetic' than it used to be and generally involves Sammy charging around his room, giggling like a mad man and leaving a trail of clothes and books scattered in his wake as one of us tries in vain to read him the Gruffalo.  Given all that, the photo above is a rare thing indeed and should be treasured accordingly. 

It's time to start consiering nursery a few days a week.  even though him and Zack go to a class every day, Sam needs more stimulation from a group of kids his age.  He needs to feel comfortable in a busy kid-like environment and he needs to find his way when neither Judy or one of us are there.  I imagine he'll go from March when he is 18months if we can find somewhere nice enough.   It's so easy to not want to let him go but it's a new phase of him broadening his horizons beyond home and mummy and daddy.

Growing up

Jo brought Sam a little table and chair set that he has taken to straight away.  We have just had a really nice morning pottering about, going to the swings, drawing, chasing him around the house. After another full-on week at work, it's been a relief to forget all about it and spend time with my family. It's what it's all about, isn't it?

Snotty

Sam has had a really bad cold recently.  Coupled with a second round of teething, it's enough to floor anyone.  Yet through all the snot and coughing, he still manages to beam away and have bursts of energy (see above - Christmas is going to be messy).

Jo and I went to look round a local primary school last week.  It's called Orchard House and it's private.  To be honest, we haven't decided what we are going to do about schools yet as we don't know exactly where we will be living in three years time.  The local state primary is meant to be 'improving'.  How crap it was before I don't know but the way things are you can't wait until the last minute to put your kids down on waiting lists for the popular private schools. It's a whole new world of matronly headmistresses, PE teachers from South Africa called Steve and all-white classes of 5 year olds saying 'hello visitors' in unison as you tour their classrooms.   There was one other parent waiting to be shown round that morning.  He was so posh he could hardly speak.  His wife had only come out of hospital the day before with their first kid!  There's being on the case and there's being ridiculous. Ah, Chiswick.  There's a sitcom in all of this somewhere.

Anyway the school was quite cute.  A big house really but busy and animated like a school should be.  It's difficult to judge really as we haven't seen anywhere else to compare it too yet. Still, I guess we'll pay the £50 and see what happens.

Little man, big energy

I haven't written for a while. Work has been ridiculously full-on and when I'm with Sam, I haven't had my camera on me to take decent pictures. He just gets more and more fun. I thought he charged around before but he has taken it to a whole new level now. We went to Heathrow to meet Jo's mum today and as soon as we put him down he was off. He will run up to total strangers, look inquisitively at them and then break into a huge, giggly smile. It's so cute.
I haven't been feeling 100% recently which means I haven't been the best dad I can be. I think it's just exaustion from work. I read an article last week about middle class parents spending less time with their kids than working class parents who tend to work more 9-5 and can get home for proper evenings with their kids. On friday I literally crawled into bed and passed out when I got back. I felt terrible but I just shut down. I keep thinking I am about to lose my voice too which is a bit worrying (especially if you have hypocondriac tendencies like I do : ).
I am wondering whether years of shouting an smoking in clubs and at raves has weakened my vocal cords or if I have nodules on them or something.
I signed off 12 holidays for people at work last week and i was thinking 'what about me?' when do Jo and I who have the most pressurised positions in the company get to go away? There never seems to be a good time. We are in the unique position of both of us being massively busy all the time. I think we need a break every 3-4months, especially now it's winter. I would really like to take a bit of a sabatical at the beginning of next year, step back and take stock of things. I think I need it.

Judy

We do a nanny share with a family around the corner from us. The nanny's name is Judy (pic below). I don't know why I haven't written about her before really. She's Phillipino and has six kids of her own! Sam loves her. And I guess because of that, so do we. If you want to work, finding the right person to look after your baby is such a big thing to get right. We kind of lucked in with Judy. She is great with Sam and clearly adores him. We ask her to work pretty long hours too. She gets to ours at 6.45am so we can leave for work. One of us will then pick him up from either Zak's (other couple's son) or ours at 6.45pm. Like everyone, Judy has her.... little quirks. She has a thing for Nigerian satellite channels on TV. Yep, Nigerian Satellite channels???? which given that they look like the opening scenes to badly scripted, shot on handicam porn films, is a bit weird. She's also got what can only be described as a 'unique' dress sense, especially when she has somewhere to go in the evening - all stilettos and far too short mini-skirts. God knows what our neighbours and local cab drivers think when she totters out of our house in the evenings. I can imagine the 'I always knew there was something funny about that couple' conversations going on behind net curtains opposite. Judy's accent is really strong too so when Sam does eventually speak, he could well have a Phillipino twang. I guess it's different. Especially for Chiswick.

Autumn Sam

Had a couple of weeks seeing Sam a lot and it has been great. He ended up laughing at his MMR jabs???? and has been generally giggly and smiley the whole time. He can kind of say 'muma' and 'dada' and the beginning of 'milk', just the mmmmmmmmm bit which at the moment just sounds a bit like someone with a stammer.
I still can't believe that he is only 13months. Inevitably thoughts have turned to when we should try for number 2. Quite a few of our friends are already pregnant with their second kids - there's a 'get it out of the way' mentality for some people (us included I think). That sounds terrible but we are just not the type of couple who revelled in those first six months. We both found them unbelievably tough going. The thought of going through it again is pretty daunting and with us both so flat out at work.....
It's got to be done. I 100% don't want Sam to be an only child. The timing just needs to be right. Jo is enjoying being back at work, there's a huge recession looming, we are not sure what our jobs will really look like next year. I think we will wait until new year then go for it. In the meantime we can forget about it and enjoy our amazing little boy....

Catch him if you can.....

I haven't spent the last few weekends with Sam and it takes a while to 're-bond' again. Work is mad too so I am finding it tricky to get home in time for his bath. Really frustrating. I want to have a few weeks just messing about with him now. He's always amazing though. I can't physically get a picture of him because he is never, ever still. (See above). He is picking up on everything we do now so got to watch the swearing. He loads the washing machine and dryer, loves taking stuff out to the recycling bin, turning on the decks and putting records back in their sleeves (preferable I think to taking them out and chucking them about). He's got a top sense of humour too and a brilliant giggle. I'm loving him from afar.....

Stuff and things

Losing stuff

I took Sam out to two different parks yesterday and both times he (we) managed to lose something. One of the things you realise pretty quickly with babies is that unless you have something physically attached on to the frame of your buggy / pushchair, it's going to be flung out at some point and the chances are you won't see it happening and so won't see whatever it is again. Sam was doing his best to lose his Crocs but I managed to retrace our tracks (5 times) and find them. The same can't be said for the mini football however or the vegetable snacks that have both been set free to make their own way in the world.

Jabs

Sam is due for his MMR pretty soon and I think we will probably get all 3 done at once but it is really annoying that there was ever a study done (however discredited it has been since) saying that there could be a link with autism. Doubt, even just a seed of doubt is not something you want when making decisions about your kids health. I know the chances of him having an adverse reaction are microscopically small but a reverse National Lottery campaign keeps playing in my head - 'it could be you'.

Friends

Jo and I have chatted about the importance of developing relationships with friends that include the kids. It is quite easy to keep seeing your friends in the same capacity as you did before you had your baby. What I mean is, you put the kids to bed, get a baby sitter and then do what you used to do. Obviously that doesn't involve them and it is something that I guess we need to work on. It's doing things like having more lunch time picnics, taking the kids swimming together - that sort of stuff. I want Sam to feel comfortable around other kids. At the moment he is definitely most comfortable around us which is natural but as he only really sees Zac (our nanny share couple's son) and although he goes to a couple of fun 'classes' with other kids, he doesn't get that much variety in his social interaction.

A proper little person

Nearly one

I can't believe that next weekend is Sam's birthday and that he wasn't even here this time last year. He has developed so much in 12 months it's mind blowing really. I was thinking of finishing the blog after his first birthday but I have decided to carry it on, although I won't be such a 'new dad' any more, there is still so much to learn and think about and document. I think we have been incredibly lucky to have such a beautiful, funny, healthy (so far, fingers crossed) boy. I put him to bed tonight and almost wanted to cry when I saw his little face looking up at me. It's such a difficult feeling to describe, the uniqueness and depth of the love that you feel for your kids. It's utterly overwhelming. I'm in awe of it.
Sam is currently going though a 'not interested in food' phase which means every meal time takes about an hour of mummy and daddy trying to distract him with toys, games and by leaping about, all so we can slip in a mouthful of food when he is not looking. When he does eat, he looks like Henry the eighth at a medieval banquet, ripping everything to shreds and spitting half of it out whilst throwing his food smeared head back to glug / spill the contents of his beaker down his front.
The kitchen looks post-apocalyptic after every meal, tiny plastic figures half buried in yoghurt rivers float past battery operated toys farting out their dying electronic spasms as the apple juice soaking renders them useless. You get the picture....
Basically, he's brilliant.

Bank holiday Sam

In years gone by August Bank Holiday was one of the biggest party weekends of the year. No longer (and thank goodness). We have had a really chilled couple of days and Sam has been on great form. He needs constant watching though. Turn your back and he is half way up the stairs before you know it. He actually fell back down them today which gave both him and us a bit of a wake up call. You suddenly remember how vulnerable he still is. He's also loving turning on the buttons on the decks and 'leafing through' my record collection. This is both good (I want him to be into his music) and bad (those records are far from baby proof).

No time to miss

I haven't spent a decent amount of time with Sam lately. Last weekend Jo and I went to Norfolk for our second wedding anniversary leaving Sam with Jo's mum and this weekend I was away for work. He changes so much in such a short space of time and it takes a while to reconnect. This morning he was literally trying to run around the house, pointing at everything and anything. Most things are 'do' at the moment but he is definately not far from being able to speak. He's amazing. I wanted to cuddle forever.

Parks are the new living rooms

Saturday was picnic day and of course after the weather having been great all week, was terrible when we woke up. We needed to make a split decision - have everyone round to ours or go for it on the picnic and hope the rain stopped for the afternoon. Now I don't know about you but seeing the carnage one 11 month old can bring to a living room, there was only one option as far as I was concerned.

Living rooms

Places you feel protective about
Limited space to charge around in
Full of expensive electrical stuff to eat / throw / lose
Spillages soak into your nice tasteful cream carpet
Sharp edges
Enticing plug sockets

Parks

Places the council feel protective about
Unlimited space to charge around in
Full of inexpensive natural stuff to eat / throw / lose
Spillages soak into the grass
Occasional sharp bits about
No plug sockets

I wasn't entirely happy with how members of the general public would perceive a thirty something man in a raincoat setting up bunting and trays of food near a playground to entice kids over but.......I wasn't arrested and as soon as everyone arrived the sun came out. There were such a nice group of people there. I'd made a couple of summery playlists, everyone was very chilled, their kids loving being outside. It was one of my favourite days of the year so far.

Floating drums

Jo was given this cool video camera called a 'flip' for her birthday which makes shooting and uploading videos really easy. This is a little test.

First man standing

Sam is now officially standing. It's been really ricky to get decent photos because I am normally keeping guard a few feet away just in case he falls. It's one of those major life stage things standing isn't it? Sort of like those 'Accent of man' posters that show apes evolving into man. You can tell it's a new sensation for him. He sways back and forth not really knowing what to make of it. It's amazing to watch as he takes a few steps. He's only ten and a half months old which seems pretty early to be doing this sort of thing. It's bound to enrage the competitive Chiswick Gymboree mums (my son, he's sooo advanced etc) whose kids are still on all fours. Which is great, obviously.
We are having an early birthday picnic for him (and about thirty other kids) on Acton Green next weekend, not that he will have much of a clue what's going on. It will be nice for him to see loads of kids his age and for us to see a lot of our mates, killing several stones with one event. It is difficult to describe to anyone without kids how having a baby requires miltary-style planning if you are going to try and see friends. They all have routines (the babies not the friends) and they kind of need to stick as closely as possible to them, at least initially. Even getting a babysitter for an evening doesn't quite cut it sometimes. It's New Parents Lesson number 324: unless your baby is staying away for the night, you'll need to leave dinner before you are ready to get back for the babysitter.
Actually that's really handy if you need an excuse to leave but more often than not we are just hitting our stride when the taxi turns up.

Little blue eyes

Sun, sea and sickness

Well, we got back from Spain lunch time on Saturday. It was a good week. But since it was our first time away as a family, not like any holiday I have ever had before. I don't know where to start really. We learnt a lot. Here's some of the things:

1. If you need an hour and a half to check in when it's just the two of you, add at least another hour on top if you have a baby with you. Checking in a car seat and taking a pushchair through customs is a whole new experience. Potential Faulty Towers moments await as you strip off your belt and shoes with one hand whilst holding a baby who wants to crawl inside the x-ray machine in the other.
2. Go with some really good mates who have kids of similar ages so you can share the hilarity / pain. (We did, thank goodness).
3. Even better if the kids are all very similar in age. Weirdly when they are this young the difference in routine from a two year old to Sam's age (10months) is quite big. The older kids eat, bath and play together and it can feel a bit like the younger one is left out sometimes.
4. Having said that, older kids provide tonnes of stimulation and end up being idolised by the younger ones. Sam couldn't take his eyes off what the two two year olds were doing.
5. You need a huge villa if you don't want to sleep in the same room as your baby (trust me, on holiday you don't). We were 3 couples and 4 kids. The villa had 7 bedrooms so everyone had their own space. Crucial I think.
6. The days of lying in until midday and drifting off to sleep by the pool after a semi-alcoholic lunch are over. At least if you ever go away with your baby. We knew that would be the case but it was still a bit of a shock. I wholeheartedly believe you should make sure you get at least a week away every year, just as a couple. It will keep you sane and you might just come back relaxed not exhausted.
7. Pray you don't all get a hardcore vomiting bug at the same time. OK, not really a learning this but something that happened and will stick long in the memory for all the wrong reasons. At one point in the middle of the night last Thursday, we had Sam throwing up in our bed, whilst mum and dad blew chunks in the his and hers bathrooms down the corridor. We're still not 100% better yet either. Nasty.