I can't wait until Christmas. I am all out of energy for this year. It's the cumulative effect of ridiculous work stress and Sam not yet being out of this tricky period. Jo is knackered too and there is no real break or recovery time whilst she is still breastfeeding. It's full-on. We are finding we need to keep each others spirits up. You can feel just how easy it is to let everything get on top of you. Lack of sleep really does distort your outlook on life because really, life is great. I have an amazing wife and beautiful baby boy and nice house and a well paid job.
But I still feel low at the moment.
Sam is brilliant but he is hard work. He's not a smiley little fella. At least not yet anyway. He has his moments (the last photos were a rare fluke) but I think I miss most of them being in the office. My self-diagnosis is that I need some semblance of control and / or positive feedback in my life and I am not getting much of either at the moment. Work lurches from one crisis that I can't pervent to another without anyone saying thanks or 'good job' and at home I can't do anything about Sam's growing pains and he isn't exactly flashing me big grins to say 'nice one dad'. I am probably expecting too much of him. I
am expecting too much of him but I guess you look for someone, somewhere to endorse what you are doing.
I am rambling. Tomorrow is another day.
