The Baby whisperer

This week has been another one full of emotional ups and downs. Work is awful at the moment. Non-stop stress for very little reward or any sort of positive feedback, something which infairly, I have probably been looking for from Sam and unsurprisingly not getting.
He doesn't know that a little smile or some acknowledgment that he is happy that I'm around at the end of the day would give me a real lift. I need that postive feedback from somewhere, just to help keep my energy levels up and make me feel that it is all worthwhile. If it doesn't come from work and it doesn't come from home then where does it come from? and when?
It's a phase of course. Sam will get more and more engaged and work will get better eventually. It's just difficult to see the way through when you are right in the thick of it and tired to the point of exhaustion.
We are talking about trying to get away for a week in Feburary or March. Oman is top of our list. The thought of being able to sleep properly, take a step back from things and get a bit of perspective is a ridiculously alluring one. Being tired and stressed is never the best combination for a positive outlook on things.
I have taken friday's off as paternity leave for the last couple and next few weeks. The theory is better than the practice. After a full day of work and then helping with feeds on Thursday night, I wake up on fridays feeling like I have had a lobotomy and not being much use to Jo or Sam. Work emails keep pouring in and I can't switch off from it properly. It's a strange limbo feeling you get on that first day of a holiday where your body goes into shutdown mode but your brain is still in a heightened state of stress. It takes me at least 48 hours away from the office to feel anything like myself again.
We did have a bit of result yesterday though when we took Sam to a Cranial (?) Osteopath in Hammersmith. This guy was amazing. He held Sam, gently moved him around and had him as calm as we have seen him for ages. A proper baby whisperer! He told us he could feel that the left hand side of Sam's body is all tensed up, probably due to the fact he was a big baby who came out of a petite mum and consequently couldn't move around very much in the womb.
He gave us some good advice and Sam was much calmer last night. Long may it last.
Mum came up to babysit last night and we went for a few drinks with some of Jo's favourite people from work. It was so nice. A few hours spent with genuinely great people. It's the simple things that can make you feel human again.

Drinking and babies don't mix

Over the last week Sam seems to have been a lot happier. He's becoming a proper little person now. He grabs things and gurgles away to himself and he does smile, but it normally comes about from him mimmicking us, which means we are doing a lot of ridiculous gurning at him.
I can't help thinking of the incredulous baby in that film Look Who's Talking. Sam must think his parents are mad. My face hurts from smiling at him.
We have pretty much finished his nursery now. It's a brilliant room with some cool decorations. On one wall there's a matrix of Damien Hirst style coloured dots, on another a painting of a beach by an artist called Beth Marsden and on another a print by a guy called Nick Walker of the Mona Lisa but with Marge Simpson's hair and necklace. Sam loves all the colours. We have also brought him an electric mobile that sits over his cot, plays mellow tunes and illuminates with stars and planets at night. It's great. I wish I had one.
On Friday, Hazel babysat and Jo and I went for a few drinks in The Swan, our local pub. It was nice to be able to sit down, unwind and chat after what has been a long hard week for both of us. Initially we were both so tired we could barely keep our eyes open but stayed out with a few friends until closing time anyway.
Which made us face up to the fact that these days - we are complete lightweights!
We only had a few drinks but both woke up later that night with splitting headaches and felt properly hungover in the morning. I'm sure tonnes of new parents have found the same thing. Apart from the odd glass, the thing you need most when you wind down is sleep. Loads of it! How times have changed....